Step 1

Confidence is based on your beliefs about yourself.

How capable and worthy you believe you are …

Let me ask you a question …

When was the last time you did something for yourself … that was just for you?

Or the last time that you spent money on yourself? That was purely just for you and no one else …?

I’m betting your answer will be … ‘I can’t remember’, ‘never’ or ‘not in a long time’ … am I right?!

At the risk of coming across as sexist … as women, we always tend to put other people first.

We want to be everything to everyone.

Because biologically, we’re wired to nurture and support.

We are the creators of life.

It’s what we were put on this earth to do … biologically …

And that’s also our downfall.

Because as much as it’s wonderful being a nurturer and mother to a little person, it’s also a curse …

Because we almost always inevitably end up putting ourselves last!

And when we do that, our self-confidence is negatively impacted.

Because we’re telling ourselves that we’re not worth it … every single time.

If we were on a plane that was about to crash in the ocean, we would ignore the flight attendant’s instructions to put our oxygen mask on first … as we would instinctively reach for our child’s mask …

That decision might save our child … but it could also doom us!

Sacrificing ourselves for another might seem the right thing to do … but what happens after that?

Our children might survive … but they wouldn’t have a mother …

As a mum myself, if my daughter’s life was being threatened, I wouldn’t hesitate to give mine to save hers.

I get that.

But what if you had a way to save you both?

What if I told you that you didn’t have to sacrifice yourself to save your child?

Wouldn’t you want to take that option?

If there was a way for me to be there for my child, be there for all her milestones, and be the best I could be for her, I’d take it in a heartbeat …

So what is this way?

It’s simple and also counter-intuitive …

Tell yourself you’re worth it.

Put yourself first.

Then crucially [and please listen to this] … back it up with action.

Do something to show yourself that you mean it.

Because until you do, those words and intentions don’t mean anything.

Nothing changes.

But isn’t that being selfish, I hear you say?

And being selfish is a bad thing, isn’t it??

Yes it is … if you do it so that it harms others …

So I’m going to teach you a new way of being selfish …

… where you put yourself first and it helps others …!

Put on your oxygen mask first.

By doing that, you’re telling your child that you’re worth saving … which means they are too.

And by action, I don’t just mean reading hundreds of self-help books and blogs and doing nothing with them.

Find out what you need to do to save yourself, and then GO DO IT!

Invest in yourself … emotionally and mentally if you can’t do it financially …

Put yourself first.

Show yourself you are worth it.

Start small if you need to … eg. 10 minutes of ME time every day.

And build from there.

Because if you don’t do it, how can you expect your child to? …

Step 2

Practice self-compassion.

Notice the negative or critical voice in your head.

Take a pause and reframe it.

Say to yourself ‘It’s ok. I’m doing the best that I can.’

Shift the focus to what you can do … and do it.

Because self-criticism is the enemy of confidence.

It sabotages your ability to do.

It sabotages your self-worth.